How to Become a Beta Male and Serve Women

How to Become a Beta Male and Serve Women

Today, I want to tackle the concept of beta males and what it truly means to embrace that role while serving the powerful, capable women in your life.

Before we dive in, let’s get one thing straight – the terms “alpha” and “beta” are quite outdated and rooted in some problematic thinking about gender roles.

An “alpha male” is traditionally viewed as a dominant, overly masculine figure while “beta males” are seen as more submissive and subordinate.

Well, I’m here to redefine what it means to be a beta male in the modern age.

Because you see, genuinely secure, forward-thinking men don’t need to project this over-the-top sense of masculinity.

True strength lies in vulnerability, emotional intelligence, and uplifting the women around you.

So from my perspective, a beta male is a man who recognizes and celebrates the strength, wisdom and leadership abilities of women.

He seeks to support them, follow their guidance, and make space for female voices that have been marginalized for far too long in our patriarchal society.

If that resonates with you, then keep reading, because I’m about to lay out a step-by-step guide on how to lean into your beta male energy and become an amazing partner, colleague, friend and all-around awesome human.

Step 1 – Unlearn Toxic Masculinity

This is hard, uncomfortable work, but it’s crucial. Take a hard look at the beliefs and expectations about masculinity that you’ve absorbed from movies, TV, music, your family, etc. Things like:

  • Men must be dominant, aggressive providers and breadwinners
  • Expressions of femininity or vulnerability in men are weaknesses
  • Women are irrational, overemotional, and need a guiding male hand

This toxic mindset boxes men into rigid gender roles and perpetuates male entitlement over women’s bodies and roles. It’s essential that you intentionally shed these antiquated, harmful beliefs about manhood.

Instead, work on cultivating a healthy sense of masculinity centered on justice, empathy, accountability and uplifting those around you.

Embrace your emotional vulnerability as a superpower rather than something to be feared.

Step 2 – Educate Yourself

For too long, male voices have completely dominated our understanding of history, culture, politics, science and more. But the truth is, women’s perspectives, innovations and experiences have been devalued and erased.

So it’s time to dig in and deliberately make space to learn from female scholars, authors, activists, artists and trailblazers across disciplines.

Discover the women who came before you and challenged patriarchal systems. Read books and watch films that center female characters as heroines and leaders rather than damsels in need of rescue.

Uplifting and amplifying the voices of women, especially Black, Indigenous, and other women of color, is an essential aspect of existing as a beta male.

Learn their struggles, triumphs and the systemic barriers they face. Let their work expand your perspective.

Step 3 – Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

For many men socialized in patriarchal cultures, there’s an innate tendency to opinionate, mansplain and speak over women in conversation. To truly serve women as a beta male, you must fight against this impulse.

When a woman is speaking, whether it’s your partner, coworker, friend or a random person on the street – give them your full, respectful attention.

Listen with the intent to understand their experiences, thoughts and feelings without judgement or thinking about how you’ll respond.

Don’t let your ego get defensive or feel the need to “logic” your way out of accountability when a woman speaks harsh truths about sexism or male behavior.

Sit with that discomfort and self-reflect. Express curiosity and ask questions to gain deeper understanding rather than diminishing their perspectives.

And if you ever find yourself slipping into those toxic communication patterns, owns up to it, apologize sincerely and do better moving forward.

True beta males embrace constructive criticism from women as opportunities for growth.

Step 4 – Support Women’s Bodily Autonomy

One of the most fundamental aspects of being a beta male is becoming a fierce advocate for women’s right to make decisions over their own bodies and reproductive health. This looks like:

  • Being a loyal ally in the fight to protect abortion access and funding for women’s healthcare services
  • Speaking out against genital mutilation and sexual violence
  • Shutting down sexist jokes and language that objectifies women
  • Respecting your partner’s boundaries, desires and consent without guilt-tripping or coercion
  • Encouraging women close to you to conduct monthly breast exams and get regular pap smears
  • Avoiding unsolicited opinions or moralizing about women’s clothing, grooming, plastic surgery or other personal choices

The point is, you should be a bodyguard and cheerleader for women’s physical autonomy in all ways, not someone trying to control or influence those decisions for them based on your own ego.

Step 5 – Uplift and Follow Women’s Leadership

Embodying your betahood means amplifying women as leaders and decision-makers in your everyday life. At home, at work, out in public – whatever the circumstances.

If you’re in a romantic relationship with a woman, that means you defer to her goals, her vision for your lives and her desires. You consult with and follow her guidance as the head of your household.

At work or in group settings, you advocate for women to be given a seat at the table, get talking time and have their perspectives heard.

You yield the floor to female voices while resisting the urge to dominate conversations or jump in with man-splaining corrections and solutions.

And when you witness qualified women not being taken seriously or facing discrimination, you respectfully speak up and challenge that unfair treatment.

True beta males don’t crave power or authority for themselves – they’re focused on creating space for females to thrive in leadership.

Step 6 – Embrace Service and Emotional Labor

Our society still largely exempts cisgender men from the mental and emotional workload involved with housekeeping, childcare, hosting, remembering birthdays…you get the picture. As a beta male, your role is to joyfully take on your fair share of that burden.

For women partnered with men, this means proactively taking care of chores and household management so that your female partner has more time and energy freed up to focus on her goals, career and personal interests. It means being an invested, active and nurturing co-parent without expecting gratitude or acknowledgement at every turn.

In your other relationships and workplaces, it looks like taking meticulous notes in meetings, offering to handle unglamorous administrative tasks, remembering key details about your coworkers’ lives and checking in with sincere care and concern.

The bottom line – beta males willingly take on emotional labor as an expression of service and admiration for the women in their lives. It’s not a favor or chore, but a humble privilege.

Step 7 – Spoil Her

While material goods aren’t the most important aspect of female-led relationships, generous acts of spoiling the important women in your life can be a beautiful way to express your devotion and appreciation.

The key here is making sure these lavish gifts and gestures come with zero strings attached. It should never be a ploy to receive sexual favors or hold something over her head later.

That’s just toxic, manipulative stuff that undermines true female authority and betahood.

Instead, shower her with thoughtful presents, romantic gestures and overt expressions of your admiration simply because she deserves it and it makes you happy to spoil someone you cherish. Offer compliments freely and enthusiastically.

Plan special surprises and experiences she’ll love without her asking. Rub her feet. Buy her a spa day. Go to extensive efforts to take things off her plate so she can truly relax and be cared for.

Step in to handle annoying tasks or dilemmas before she even has to ask. Make her life easier and more serene whenever possible, because providing tranquility for your female loved ones is the highest honor as a beta.

There you have it, kings! Pretty straightforward, right? All it takes to embrace your role as a beta male is a whole lot of unlearning, humility, amplifying female voices and joyfully serving the powerful women in your life.

I know in our patriarchal world, these concepts can seem daunting or even threatening to some men who’ve been clinging to antiquated, faux definitions of masculinity.

If that resistance arises within you, sit with it.

Reflect on the ways in which our culture gaslights men into unhealthy expectations of what it means to “be a man.”

Because the absolute truth? A fierce, humble beta male who uplifts and centers women is one of the most refreshingly attractive, confident expressions of modern masculinity.

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